Remodeling or Redacting?
It’s all a question of remaking or removing.
This week we tore our bathroom apart. No, it isn’t because we lost a contact lens or the diamond out of my engagement ring. We started tearing it apart because it’s time. As the master bathroom is the room seen by the fewest people, we put off its update to the very last of the rooms in the house.
Of all the pathways to discover something about oneself or one’s marriage, remodeling a home while living in it has to be one of the most drastic. But at the same time, it can be nothing less than profound. Or profoundly amusing. Take your pick.
So far, here are some things we’ve discovered.
No matter how great the choices you make, there comes a time when they need to be re-evaluated.
No, I’m not talking about our choice of life-mates, even though there might be times when we’d like to remodel each other. I’m talking wallpaper here. I loved that wallpaper when I bought it in ! (redacted due to highly incriminating date) It was absolutely beautiful! A floral print with all the colors of a happy spring morning—it was like stepping into a sunny garden every time I stepped out of the shower.
However, after this many years, it was outdated to say the very least. Replacing it doesn’t mean it was a bad choice back then, it just means that it’s time for something new. (Ahem—ok, so it’s past time.) But as you probably know, you can’t paint over it. You have to remove it, so you can start over fresh.
You’re never as spotless as you think you are.
Granted, I haven’t been wiping down that wallpaper as often as I used to because I knew it was on its way out. I knew it was probably a little dirty. But, holy ! (redacted vocabulary) when I got up close and started steaming it off the wall, I found fly spots and cobwebs and dust and all manner of things! It was a whole lot worse than I thought.
Truth is, I was still looking at it as that sunny garden, when anyone else would probably have viewed it more along the lines of a microbiology lab. And I would mention the flooring, but it would probably just be redacted. Perspective? It makes all the difference.
Some things are worth saving. Some are not.
I found things in our medicine cabinet that are as old as our doctor. We may be good about turning in unused prescriptions, but I’m quite sure the bottle of cologne shoved into a corner on the top shelf was put there when doctors still dictated patient notes instead of entering them into a computer. And Holy Vitamins, Batman! That bottle of Hair, Skin, and Nails supplement is turning gray already. Speaking of redacting—who didn’t think to toss that out?
Perhaps we should have remodeled this room every couple years just to be forced to go through the medicine cabinet. Or perhaps we shouldn’t hold onto unimportant things as though we really need them, when they actually aren’t doing us any good whatsoever.
Stepping out of our routine makes us actually think about what we’re doing.
Okay, so yeah, both my husband and I have our morning grooming routines. The toothpaste and toothbrush goes on a certain shelf along with everything else we use to get ready, and our hands reach for them more from muscle memory than conscious decision. Not to say that we are creatures of habit, but how am I supposed to remember to brush my teeth when the shelf full of toiletries is not even there?
Can you imagine the time delay caused by this confusion? The first morning after moving everything from the master bath to the guest bath, we rescheduled all our morning commitments for the foreseeable future to two hours later than usual. Learning a new way to do things is, in a sense, remodeling old habits. And, like remodeling, it’s gonna take time.
It’s often easier to put things in than take them out.
Take our tub and shower combo. We basically built the room around it, since we knew how hard it would be to get it through the doorway. And now we have to find a way to remove it without tearing out walls. Can I just say redacting that piece of shaped fiberglass is going to be a bit more complicated than slathering it over with some black ink? Covering it up won’t help anything. It needs to be removed completely, and like it or not, that’s going to require some careful planning and a whole lot of effort. The moral of the story? Be careful about what you choose to build your life around.
I guess the most important thing I’ve learned during this remodeling project is that we aren’t remodeling only a room here. We’re remodeling ourselves. Updating our choices, our perspectives and habits is undoubtedly more beneficial to our health and well-being than a bottle of supplements. And that whole thing about forcing ourselves to be intentional and purposeful with how we care for ourselves and each other? Worth the extra time, and more valuable than a walk-in shower.
So what project are you working on? Are you remaking something or removing it?
And how will you decide which is best?
