Find Your Fabulous

As my friend and I chatted in her sunroom overlooking the river recently, we discussed the new goals we’ve set for our lives. Her goal—find her Fabulous. With a capital F. 

And that, I must confess, I found fascinating. 

She confided that during the upheaval of COVID and transitioning from her career, she seems to have misplaced the elements of herself that she considered fabulous. “I wasn’t really aware that it was happening,” she said. “And now that I’m no longer working, I’m having to resurrect the things that made me feel good about myself, and maybe redefine what those are.”

I think she’s really onto something there. 

We discussed what being fabulous really means to us, and we agreed on a few main points.

Feeling fabulous is important, but it’s more than that

It’s about owning those things about us that make us unique individuals. It’s an attitude and mindset that inspire our actions and permeate the habits we adopt. We want it to be as much a part of ourselves as any other characteristic. 

When we were going to work in the traditional setting—business, office, school system, etc,—we knew what we had to do to make ourselves fabulous at our professional roles. Now though, we are intent on rediscovering those attitudes and attributes that we believe make us fabulous people.  

Finding our Fabulous means living our lives with a sense of purpose and confidence in who we are and what we have to offer the world. It brings its own energy and momentum, inspiring us to reach ever forward, and celebrate our lives. 

Fabulous means different things for different people

For me, it means being creative, challenging myself mentally, and caring for myself physically and spiritually, while maintaining healthy relationships with other people. 

But the most important aspect to sustaining my sense of being fabulous is the feeling that I am accomplishing the goals and tasks I have set for myself in those areas. If I feel like I’m not making progress, I have trouble feeling fabulous. Adopting habits that help me accomplish my goals helps me find my fabulous. 

For other people, it might be

• Climbing the proverbial ladder in their business or career path

• Focusing on raising their children

• Pursuing their talent as in an art or craft

• Living creatively

• Concentrating on meeting physical goals related to health or activities

Since other people’s idea of what being fabulous is doesn’t necessarily coincide with mine, I do not need to meet someone else’s criteria for fabulous in order to find my own.

Fabulousness is constantly evolving

The things that make me feel fabulous now are not necessarily what they were when I was in my twenties. I remember times when just having a chance to shower and fix my hair made me feel pretty successful. If I was also able to get supper on the table and a load of laundry washed, dried, folded and put away, and the kids put to bed at a decent time, I felt like I was positively rocking it. 

Although my friend and I both believe caring for our physical fitness is important, striving to meet what fashion trends consider beautiful is not as high a priority as it once was. That said, I believe that neglecting my appearance never helps me feel fabulous. If I want to feel good, I need to feel that I look good.

But feeling fabulous carries its own attractiveness—it’s about the attitude. A person who feels good about themself is naturally appealing, regardless of their age. 

Owning our fabulous means recognizing that we have value regardless of how we look or perform on any given day. It's an attitude that permeates the way we portray ourselves to the world through the things we say and do.

Recognize what makes you feel fabulous

Because we’re trying to rediscover what our fabulous is, we have to be aware of when we feel that way, and why. And then we have to recreate it intentionally and consistently.

I’ve learned that journaling is a good way for me to discover exactly what makes me feel good about myself. When I was in college, I took a journaling class that centered on reflection and self-dialogue. I quickly learned that falling behind in my coursework led me to a higher stress level and disappointment in myself. That’s where I learned that a sense of accomplishment was important for me and how my habits affect it. 

But I’ve also learned that I have to be working towards that sense of accomplishment in more than just one aspect of my life. I can be rocking work, feeling good about what I’ve produced, and know that I still am not quite there yet if I’m neglecting my personal life or my physical well-being. 

Allow for some not-so-fabulous-ness

I’ve worn a lot of different hats in my life. I know that some of the times when I felt most successful was when I was finding creative ways to develop the programs I was in charge of. Those times stand out in my mind as ones I’m proud of, and I imagine a Fabulous hat set squarely on my head at that moment in time. But I also know that if I were to revisit my journals from those time periods, I would find frustration, doubt and failure.

This is where mindset comes in. I have to allow myself to have hours, days, maybe even weeks of less than my best. Sometimes it will affect one area of my life, other times, it will affect all aspects. 

The truth is, I’m human and my fab hat doesn’t always fit. I realize there are going to be times when I simply can’t keep it on. And really, if nothing is threatening to knock it off, chances are I’m just keeping my head down. 

My goal is to pick my fabulous up from the ground where it’s been trampled, dust it off on the leg of my jeans and stick it right back on. 

Celebrate it

Finding one's own fabulous—defining it, deliberately choosing the characteristics that produce it, and intentionally adopting the attitudes, habits and mindset that make it sustainable—might be the most important thing we can do for ourselves. Chances are, it won’t be easy, and yeah, someone or something will probably knock it off for us every now and then. But every morning, I’m going to put my feet on the floor, clap that Fabulous on my head and celebrate who I am and what I have to offer to the world. 

How about you? Do you have your Fabulous on today? 

If you lost it, go back to where you last had it, pick it up, dust it off,

and put it back on.