Welcome to the Neighborhood
I’m not sure what it’s like where you live, but here in Colorado, we’re deep into what I call the Post-Pandemic Migration. Liberated from commuting to onsite jobs, many people now have the freedom to live where they choose, and work remotely. They are relocating in droves to the places they used to commute to on weekends to recreate.
The problem is that the ensuing population explosion is re-creating the small towns they are fleeing to with such relief. As a long-time resident of small towns, I’d like to offer a simple step-by-step process for incoming residents of our hometown to learn one of our favorite small-town traditions.
First of all, one thing we love about our hometown is that it is a HOMEtown. We think that might be something you like about it as well. While the new energy in town is exciting, and new opportunities for entertainment and dining and shopping are fun, we don’t want to lose that HOMEtown feel.
Grasping the underlying principle is vital to understanding why this particular tradition is a major hallmark of small-town life.
Here it is: Those people who live in the house down the street? They’re not just someone who drives down the same street you do before parking their car. They’re your neighbors. They’re not just someone you walk past without acknowledging their presence. They’re neighbors. That person who just drove by? Right. Neighbor.
Remember that when the world shuts down, they’ll be the ones sharing their toilet paper with you.
So the next time you walk down the street with your dog, we’d like to encourage you to start, step by step, to join us in this small town observance. When you become adept at engaging in this tradition, you’ll be amazed how much more at home you’ll feel.
Now, before you start getting defensive, thinking that you don’t need someone to tell you how to live here, understand something—
I’m just sharing a secret I had to learn, all by myself.
Our town is awesome. But what makes it more than just a pretty picture is the people who live here. We hope you’ll see how awesome it can be when you fully embrace our small-town, hometown, everyone-knows-everyone style.
So this is actually to help you (and us) all keep enjoying this town we all call home. Together.
First step. Eye contact.
Actually, we got pretty skilled at this during COVID, when everyone was wearing masks, and all you could see was the other person’s eyes. So, it’s a good place to start. The problem was that we started seeing the bearer of the mask as a germ carrier rather than another person.
The first step is recognizing that the eyes belong to a real person.
HUMAN. NEIGHBOR. You good with that?
Not easy. But I know you can do it. Take that first step. Just look them in the eye. Not too long. We don’t need a thirty-second stare that will make them uncomfortable. A brief meeting of the eyes grants them the knowledge that they’ve been seen. Recognized as another human on the planet.
I know this might contradict what you’ve learned about self-defense, but on your street, in your new hometown, I think it’s worth the risk.
If it feels awkward, you can give a slight nod. As in: “Yes. I’m your neighbor.”
That’s it for now. Go home, ice it for twenty minutes. Just put an ice pack on whatever hurts after this first encounter. It will be easier next time.
Still with me? You might be familiar with the next one.
Step 2. Smile.
Since it’s kind of weird to be out and about without masks, it’s important to remember that it’s good to smile.
(Remember, people can actually see your smile now.)
It’s okay if you need to practice in the mirror. If your facial muscles are unaccustomed to this movement, one easy way to start is to look at photos of people you love.
It’s easier to smile at people you love.
Try that for a day or two until you get the hang of it.
Not so easy with strangers, is it? But as we’ve already established, these people who live in the same town as you are not necessarily strange. Maybe just new.
While not everyone in town has been vetted as being a certified Good Neighbor, it’s important that we stop thinking of them as a threat. We can’t consider every human as merely another vehicle for COVID contamination.
You got it. They’re neighbors.
Next step: The wave.
Raise the hand that’s not holding your dog’s leash, palm forward, and move it back and forth slightly. We aren’t asking you to stretch it as high as you can reach and wave frantically like you did when you were in second grade and you thought you knew the answer.
Just very gently, move it back and forth.
You can do this by bending from the elbow or the wrist, whichever is easier for you. If it helps, you can even keep your cell phone in your hand, for comfort.
Remember when you were a kid, and waved at every vehicle you met or passed, whether they were heading your direction or going the other way?
It didn’t matter what it said on their license plate, whether the vehicle was small or large, old or new, or what color it was. If it shared the same road, you waved. Try doing that again. It’s like giving everyone a little gift of good cheer. Soon people on your street will be waving back.
Okay. If you’ve mastered these first three steps, you are ready for the big one, although it’s trickier. Before you try it, you have to take your earbuds out of your ears, and put your cell phone in your pocket, just in case.
Here’s the scenario: as you and your dog walk down the street, Grandpa and Grandma Silver-Sneakers who live in the blue house on the corner are heading your direction on the same sidewalk. You can tell that Grandma made Grandpa put down the remote and walk because he looks a bit disgruntled. Do not panic. He’s just trying to limber up his smile muscles.
Remember the first three steps.
Eye Contact
Smile
Wave
This helps ensure that by the time they get to you, they will be ready. And so will you. You no longer need to dodge into the street to get six feet away, but respecting personal space is always courteous.
Now swallow, take a deep breath, and say “Hello.”
Keep a firm hold on the leash so your dog does not spook at hearing you speak to someone other than him. See how easy that is once you’ve mastered the first three?
Your neighbors might even say hello back to you.
There! You’ve done it! Great job! Welcome home!
Now for the disclaimer. Small towns are great for the most part, but we’re also famous for everyone in town knowing everyone else’s business. However, if you always remember that you have a right to privacy, and so does everyone else in town, it helps. If your new friends want to exchange more than a simple hello, keep this warning in mind:
You do not need to disclose where you hide your key, or your computer passwords, Social Security number, your age, weight, who you voted for, your sex life, or religious beliefs—unless both parties exchange printed copies of their respective privacy policies and sign and date them.
(You might want to file them at the Town Hall. It’s just down the street to the right.)
If you have questions or want to sign up for tutoring sessions, click on the button below.
And all joking aside… welcome to your new hometown…. neighbor.
I hope to see you so we can practice the three steps together.
