Positively Toxic
A long time ago some smart guy said, “Moderation in all things is the best policy.” Too bad we don’t remember that wise advice. Everything, if left to run unchecked, can go too far in one direction. Including a positive mindset.
And people are calling BS on false positivity.
There are two different kinds of positivity.
One is the conscious choice to believe that a positive outcome is possible, even if it requires hard work and persistence to achieve it. It’s looking at a corral that has been used by a number of livestock, and recognizing that the corral needs cleaning, and then finding the tools to use to get the job done. It’s realizing that you are probably going to step in something along the way, but sooner or later, you’ll end up with a clean corral if you’re willing to put in the work. It’s akin to optimism.
The other is an artificial positivity that consists of dismissing and ignoring anything perceived as negative, whether it be a negative emotion or a less-than-shiny situation or characteristic of a group, company, workplace or project. It is often characterized by platitudes and pet phrases thrown around like a layer of clean straw over that corral, hoping that by doing so, the underlying layer will not seem so bad. Sometimes the reality that there is something stinky lurking under there is not even acknowledged.
The result is that the problem is not actually resolved. Instead, it just settles in deeper.
This artificial positivity was dubbed Toxic Positivity and is the subject of article after article written in 2021, Many of these articles deal with the detrimental effect platitudes and artificial positivity can have on people’s mental health. When the emotions people feel are deemed “negative” and answered with pet positive phrases, feelings of isolation, disconnection and dismissal can result. These often well-intended responses make things positively terrible, especially for people experiencing depression.
I’m not here to talk about the effect false positivity has on people’s mental health. I’m not qualified to do that.
People’s psychological well-being is too complex and important to be addressed by an unqualified opinion.
However, I have seen what artificial positivity can do to the morale of a workplace or other group of people.
True positivity in a group or workplace situation is demonstrated by an attitude of: “While we know there’s an issue with the corral, there’s no need to keep rolling in it all day long to know it’s there. We don’t deny what you’re smelling, and won’t try to pretend it smells good. We’re willing to accept information, and use it to identify and address the issue or solve the problem, and we might be calling on your expertise or willingness to help.”
Here’s the key, though.
The leader of the workplace or group has to be transparent enough, confident enough, and trusting enough to communicate the problem, as in: “We know the corral needs cleaning. The leadership has discussed options to address the problem, but we would like your input. What do you think is the best way to clean it up?” Or “This is our desired outcome, and these are the steps we are going to take to get there.”
To go one step further, the leader has to be receptive when someone comes to them and says, “There’s an issue in the corral, and we need to address it.”
The problem comes when the leadership figuratively pats the report bearer on the head and says, “Now don’t you worry your little head about that. We have it all under control.” That, in my opinion, is the ultimate insult, as though people outside the leadership circle don’t have the ability to recognize that a problem exists or the problem-solving skills to help address it.
Denying that there is a problem is even worse, and the opposite of transparency.
It is likely to happen when management is so far removed from the workers in the trenches that they lack a true understanding or clear picture of the issue. In other words, they haven’t been to the corral lately. Or they really don’t want anyone else to know what’s in their corral.
Neither denial or masking are honest, and end up sacrificing the trust and respect of group members and employees. Both denial and masking can lead to an under-the-surface tension. That tension is what boils over in the coffee room, and inspires negative chatter. The result: the false positivity ends up creating the negativity everyone was hoping to avoid in the first place.
The leaders, after all, are usually just hoping to create a culture of empowerment, team spirit, and an optimistic outlook for the members of their group or their employees, right? But if they are attempting to keep up morale, shaming people for expressing anything other than “Wow, this corral is amazing!” is not going to do the trick.
Being able to discern a problem is not having a negative outlook.
It’s an ability to recognize things that are less-than-shiny, analyze and assess them, and then contribute to a plan to address them.
Isn’t that an ability we should be fostering instead of shaming?
Isn’t that a problem-solving ability? Because problems can’t be solved if they are never identified and acknowledged in the first place.
People feel empowered when they are allowed and able to make a difference. Want people to feel like a team? Let them identify issues and come up with solutions together. Even if the first solution attempted doesn’t work, the experience will inform subsequent attempts, and inspire feelings of accomplishment, ownership, and collaboration, resulting in higher morale.
Everyone understands that problems will come up. It happens in every group, every project, every workplace. Trying to hide them or pretend that they aren’t there doesn’t actually help anything. Instead, it makes the situation positively toxic.
