Which Comes First—Gratefulness or Generosity?

I am writing this the weekend after Thanksgiving—That weekend when people throw out or freeze what’s left of the Thanksgiving feast and bring out the Christmas decorations. It’s transition time—from fall leaves to evergreen branches, from turkeys to Christmas cookies.

Some people have already done the gift-buying that has come to be synonymous with the Christmas season. In stores, Thanksgiving was offered a bare minimum of space and focus.  The transition was mostly straight from Halloween to Christmas, inspiring a mix of reactions ranging from “Yay, Christmas is coming!” to “Why are there already Christmas decorations in the stores? It’s barely October.” And “It’s become so commercialized!”

The obvious, practical reason for this phenomenon is that many retail stores dedicate certain percentages of display space for seasonal items.

Going back a bit, we saw the display space used for back-to-school supplies give way to Halloween items. That’s because Halloween has evolved into an opportunity for 10.14 billion dollars’ worth of retail sales.

No longer is it a simple event involving children dressing in an old bed sheet with holes cut out for the eyes and going to the neighbor’s houses for treats. Now, people are buying elaborate decorations and costumes for adults as well as children. Meaning, of course, that quite a bit of retail space is needed to stock those items.

Thanksgiving, as far as retail sales go, is more about the food and a few items of décor centered around the dining area. That means the Thanksgiving-inspired sale items don’t require as much space, so stores go straight from Halloween to Christmas items in much of the seasonal display area.

This practice seems to indicate that Thanksgiving isn’t as important as the other holidays. Wait a moment.

Thanksgiving is about more than the food. It’s about gratitude. And it’s about sharing, every bit as much as it’s about thankfulness. It’s about people coming together. Sharing a meal. Sharing time together. And that can’t be displayed on a retail shelf.

And there you have it. The feeling of gratefulness inspiring the act of sharing.

As I was cruising the Internet for inspiration for this blog, I ran across an answer to the question “What is the true meaning of generosity?” It says: “the quality of being kind, understanding, and not selfish…” The answer is attributed to Merriam-Webster online dictionary. But when I clicked on the link for the dictionary, I read the second definition of generosity as “a spirit of abundance.”

Mind you, that’s not actually what it said. That’s what my eyes, in a poor tracking moment, read on the screen—a reorganization of  “abundance” as a synonym and “great generosity of spirit” as an example of how it would be used in a phrase in that context.

Yeah, I know. Merriam-Webster has been giving out definitions for a long time. But so what if they are an authority? I like mine better. Generosity really is a spirit of abundance and a willingness to share it.

Now combine the two.

A spirit of abundant kindness and understanding and a willingness to share without selfish motive.

Perfect.

Have you ever known the world to be in more desperate need of an abundance of kindness and understanding offered without desire for reward or recognition?

Reality check. Further down in the results page, I clicked again. It turns out that I’m not the only one seeking a more thorough exploration of generosity and the spirit of giving. The University of Notre Dame has a landmark study of The Science of Generosity, (and has for more than ten years! Who knew?) (And yes, it’s a science. Complete with studies of chemicals and all that stuff.)

And right there, touting an exhibit highlighting research on generosity, Paula Hickman, executive director of The Community Foundation of North Louisiana, is quoted as saying,  "We are pleased to share with the public what we have known all along:  generosity positively transforms the donor as well as the recipient."

Scroll a little further, and I found an analysis of studies on generosity. Written by Summer Allen, Ph.D. with the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, it reports that various studies found that people feel best about giving to others when it involves a social connection, and that generous acts may alter the way people view the world, helping them to be more aware of their own good fortune.

Boom. There it is.

Sharing gratefulness leads to generosity which leads back to a sense of a person’s own good fortune—or a spirit of abundance. Especially when there’s social connection. It’s all intertwined.

And that is why Thanksgiving is the perfect launch point for the season of giving.

Because, guess what? You don’t have to organize your attitudes and mindset according to availability of retail space.

You don’t have to toss out one holiday for the next. You can keep the spirit of abundance that Thanksgiving inspires.

And if the commercial aspect of the Christmas season gets under your skin, offer gifts of kindness and understanding.

Abundantly.

Always.

No matter what season.